Rate-A-Mate Compatibility Scale

Imagine starting out on a journey without a map, with little money in your pocket, and with little gas in your vehicle. The outcome would be quite predictable – you would have a very difficult time if not an impossible one arriving at your destination. Too often people go about their search for a relationship in a similar manner – with inadequate skills and resources and with out a clear sense of where they want to end up. Too often we set ourselves up for failure by prematurely setting out on a search for a relationship before we are ready to be in one. The inevitable hurt and frustration of another failed relationship leaves us feeling unlovable and again asking, "Why can’t I find the right person?" Before setting out on your next quest for relationship happiness, ask yourself…

  1. Am I still in love with an ex-partner?
  2. Am I carrying tremendous resentment or rage toward an ex-partner?
  3. Do I feel spiritually or emotionally empty within myself?
  4. Do I dislike the person I am?
  5. Do I feel I have very little to offer a mate?
  6. Do I feel so lonely and desperate that I’m totally miserable without a relationship?
  7. Do I feel no one would want to be in a relationship with me?
  8. Do I find it difficult to feel or express my emotions?

If you answered YES to any of these questions you may not be emotionally ready to have an intimate relationship. Either you haven’t recovered sufficiently from a previous relationship to give your heart to another, or your self-esteem is so low that you can’t love another, or you feel so empty inside that you have nothing to offer except neediness. If you suspect you aren’t ready for love, go on arelationship fast and work on improving your relationship with yourself.

Sometimes a healthy prerequisite to committing yourself to a relationship is an awareness and acceptance of yourself that allow a healthy integration and expression of your thoughts, needs and feelings. This is best achieved by investing a certain amount of time and energy to self-exploration, self-knowledge, and self-development. In any situation seeking the assistance of professionals and experts in the form of counseling, psychotherapy, educational and skill building seminars, or self help materials could serve as a valid short cut to a resolution of past conflicts, enhanced insight, a more positive self esteem, and more effective social and coping skills – all of which facilitates a healthier you and making healthy relationship choices.